I'm in this weird place right now. I really need to write but for the past few days have struggled immensely to focus on what I need to write about.
Yet, here I am spilling my own personal thoughts on to a page without a problem at all. In fact, over the past few days I've dropped quite a few more entries than I have in a long time.
This leads me to conclude that the problem isn't embedded in my willingness or ability to put words to paper (or this screen). Rather, it's a problem buried somewhere within my mind that is acting as a speed bump (or multiple speed bumps) along the road that I think I need to travel.
The key here is "think."
The human mind works in interesting ways. Now, I'm no psychiatrist or shrink, but I like to think that my mind teaches me something new about myself on a regular basis.
For example, I am and have been aware for a long time that there are a few stresses on the back burner of my mind that I have essentially left sitting on simmer. Initially, my thought was, "if I put it on simmer, it won't boil over. It will just stay warm enough so that when I want it or am ready for it, I can go back and it will be ready and waiting."
The only problem with this is that you leave something to simmer for, oh... I dunno, say five or six months, it is eventually going to burn to the bottom of the saucepan and potentially cause a fire. At the very least you're going to get some serious smoke developing in your kitchen, so to speak.
This weekend was my own little kitchen fire.
I didn't really realize this until today. Days and days of sitting here at my computer trying to complete tasks that I'm obligated to complete and I was having no luck. Yet I could freely spew words and thoughts on to the pages of this blog. Why?
This was my mind trying to get me to deal with those simmering saucepans on the back burners. And I ignored my mind until thick, dark smoke started pouring out.
I can't say I've fully dealt with everything, but I've at least cleared the smoke from the room. One step at a time. That's what I try to tell myself anyways.
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It's funny, as I was thinking about all of this, an Angels & Airwaves song came through my speakers. It was one that I hadn't heard in a long time. As always, my music just has a knack for showing up in the perfect moment. The song is called "Anxiety."
As I sat down to write, I remembered that Angels & Airwaves had released the music video for "Anxiety" just about one year ago when I was doing government work in the barren wastelands of northern Alberta. And I remember having written about the release of this video.
A quick search showed that I crushed out "Certainly doesn't induce 'anxiety' with this guy!" on Aug. 16, 2011. Interesting how almost a year later and I'm back with that song, but for the completely opposite reason.
Funny how drastically life can change over the course of one year, a relatively short span of time when you think about how long most of us will live.
Once again, I love how my mind communicates with music and vice-versa.
Anxiety by Angels & Airwaves
The key here is "think."
The human mind works in interesting ways. Now, I'm no psychiatrist or shrink, but I like to think that my mind teaches me something new about myself on a regular basis.
For example, I am and have been aware for a long time that there are a few stresses on the back burner of my mind that I have essentially left sitting on simmer. Initially, my thought was, "if I put it on simmer, it won't boil over. It will just stay warm enough so that when I want it or am ready for it, I can go back and it will be ready and waiting."
The only problem with this is that you leave something to simmer for, oh... I dunno, say five or six months, it is eventually going to burn to the bottom of the saucepan and potentially cause a fire. At the very least you're going to get some serious smoke developing in your kitchen, so to speak.
This weekend was my own little kitchen fire.
I didn't really realize this until today. Days and days of sitting here at my computer trying to complete tasks that I'm obligated to complete and I was having no luck. Yet I could freely spew words and thoughts on to the pages of this blog. Why?
This was my mind trying to get me to deal with those simmering saucepans on the back burners. And I ignored my mind until thick, dark smoke started pouring out.
I can't say I've fully dealt with everything, but I've at least cleared the smoke from the room. One step at a time. That's what I try to tell myself anyways.
--------------------
It's funny, as I was thinking about all of this, an Angels & Airwaves song came through my speakers. It was one that I hadn't heard in a long time. As always, my music just has a knack for showing up in the perfect moment. The song is called "Anxiety."
As I sat down to write, I remembered that Angels & Airwaves had released the music video for "Anxiety" just about one year ago when I was doing government work in the barren wastelands of northern Alberta. And I remember having written about the release of this video.
A quick search showed that I crushed out "Certainly doesn't induce 'anxiety' with this guy!" on Aug. 16, 2011. Interesting how almost a year later and I'm back with that song, but for the completely opposite reason.
Funny how drastically life can change over the course of one year, a relatively short span of time when you think about how long most of us will live.
Once again, I love how my mind communicates with music and vice-versa.
Anxiety by Angels & Airwaves
(Anxiety)
(Don't pressure us)
(Anxiety)
(Don't pressure us)
(Anxiety)
Faster, I dream in speeds of ashes
My heart, it beats and crashes
I'm running from the truth
'Cause it f*cks with my mind
Waiting, we're silly, we're so reckless
The city, it's so heartless
A bottle full of crude
That washed up in the tide
Don't pressure us; anxiety
I'm a passenger
So serious; anxiety
Just a passenger
Handsome and callused young believers
Hiding, plotting schemers
And rotting out like fruit
That was left here to die
Talking, playing after hours
Time is bending outward
I'm falling to my knees
To crawl home safe inside
Don't pressure us; anxiety
I'm a passenger
So dangerous; anxiety
Just a passenger
Don't pressure us; anxiety
I'm a passenger
So serious; anxiety
Just a passenger
Don't pressure us
Don't pressure us
Don't pressure us
Don't pressure us
Don't pressure us; anxiety
I'm a passenger
So dangerous; anxiety
Just a passenger
Don't pressure us; anxiety
I'm a passenger
So serious; anxiety
Just a passenger
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