2012 - A Love/Hate Odyssey

Taylor Rocca stars in 2012 -- A Love/Hate Odyssey.

"Every year has been great, but a few have been tough."

-- "Pretty Little Girl" by blink-182 featuring Yelawolf.

That is a pretty accurate way for me to sum up 2012. 

Despite making many strides during the past year, it would be an understatement to say that 2012 also had its fair share of speed bumps along the way. 

Five reasons I won't be missing 2012 (in no particular order):

1. A second year lost to injury: Most of 2011 was spent hobbled by a groin injury I suffered in the first two weeks of January. Requiring surgical repair, the earliest operation date the surgeon could schedule me for wasn't until just prior to Christmas 2011. What did that mean? A recovery period that extended through the first four months of 2012. But wait, there's more. My post-op follow-up revealed other issues that also required surgical attention. I went back under the knife in August and was finally able to ease myself back into regular physical activity in mid- to late-November . 
2. Loss of a loved one: After three years, a relationship I thought to be indestructible ended without much reason or explanation in early March. To this day I still have unanswered questions and don't fully understand what went wrong. 
3. Loss of a loved one, part two: After a short, but courageous battle with throat cancer, my grandfather passed away in November at the age of 87. In my younger days, my relationship with him was much stronger. I visited Lethbridge often and we would get out for as many rounds of golf as possible, weather permitting of course. Having bounced around since high school, I saw less and less of him over the past seven years. It was incredibly sad to see him go, but I know things are better for him.
4. First true loss of identity: After losing a significant part of my life in March, I trekked off to Toronto where I had nothing but time to sit and stew with my own thoughts. This carried over upon my move back to Kamloops and even to this day I have trouble knowing just who I am, what I want from life and who I want in my life. For the first time in my existence, I feel very vulnerable. I attribute this to the fact that things in my life that were once certain have become very uncertain. 
5. Loss of genuine happiness: Sitting here looking back upon 2012, I honestly cannot remember being truly, genuinely happy about my entire life. I try my best to be a "glass half-full" sort of guy, but when working to be happy exhausts a person to the point of emotional and physical breakdown, something just isn't right. 

There's a common thread through everything I won't miss about 2012. I won't spell it out for you. Let's just say I'm looking forward to putting a few more wins on the board in 2013.

Being the "glass half-full" sort of guy I mentioned above, I couldn't bring this to a close without acknowledging and celebrating all the positive things 2012 brought forth.

Five reasons I will be missing 2012 (in no particular order):

1. New and improved relationships: My move to Toronto provided an opportunity to reconnect with a cousin I had not seen since I was 16 years old. I am extremely thankful for the fact I was able to establish a strong relationship with her and her new husband. I feel like I have two new great friends, both whom I can rely on when I need them most. Apart from those two, I was also able to connect with an older cousin, finding friendship in space where there had previously been an unbridgeable age gap. 
2. Conversations with intriguing individuals: Having found my calling in the world of journalism, 2012 gave me the opportunity to speak with a wide variety of interesting and intriguing individuals. Two of these individuals stand out to me: Sooraya Graham and Mike Danton. Among everything I wrote in 2012, the respective stories of these two individuals opened my eyes in more ways than one. 
3. Adventures: While I maybe didn't tour around as much as I wish I could have, 2012 took me on a number of different adventures. For the second time in the past five years I went on a roadtrip down the Pacific Coast, once again traveling all the way to Los Angeles. A notable experience from that trip: having my eyes opened to the dunking-insanity of the L.A. Clippers' Blake Griffin. Apart from seeing the Pacific Northwest and parts of California, I also discovered Toronto for the first time in my life. In fact, I traveled east of Saskatoon for the first time in my life. A notable experience from Toronto: having my eyes opened to the excitement of MLS football. 
4. "Breaking in" to radio and TV: OK, so technically my voice first carried across the radio-waves in December 2011, but I only squeezed one show in before the calendar turned over to 2012. Yes, my work might not be high-profile, groundbreaking or prolific by any means, but the important part is that I got behind a microphone and in front of a camera. 
5. Dream opportunity: Last and certainly not least, I had the opportunity to work at a publication I have been reading since I was a child. From May through August I put in time at The Hockey News in Toronto, penning my own set of stories while also learning the ins-and-outs of what it takes to pull together a magazine. The experience was rewarding, educational and exciting from start to finish. 

I said this on Dec. 31, 2012 and I will repeat it again for good measure:

"2012 -- good riddance and goodbye. I won't be missing you. Ever. Don't call me. It's over."

I'm not totally bitter at 2012. Sure, I have certainly had better years than 2012, but on the other hand, 2012 taught me a lot of important lessons and helped me grow, both personally and professionally. I am looking forward to 2013 and the new, exciting and undiscovered opportunities and adventures it most definitely holds. I will take the positive experiences from 2012 along for the ride, while trying to find learning opportunities in the challenging experiences from 2012. 

That's life, isn't it?