The War, Pt. II

Why must this tear my head inside out?

I sit here tonight feeling as though I have Axis and Allies going head-to-head within my own mind. Back and forth, exchanging blow after blow, each side taking no prisoners, showing no mercy while also leaving no man behind. It's a neverending battle and the battleground exists purely in my own psyche.

My outlet for anything troubling has quickly and quietly become to write about it. Whether I pen a few short lines in my blue book or I spew out the full-length, angst-ridden rhetoric right here, something about putting words to a surface is soothing.

The War, Pt. II. 

Why Pt. II?

I use music as my own personal escape. When I want inspiration to achieve great things, I turn to music. When I feel positive about the world, I turn to music in celebration. When I want to dig a hole and hide from demons in my own mind, I turn to music for protection.

When I am dealing with the latter, I almost always turn to Angels & Airwaves.

I've probably put this in words so many times that most others would find it sickening. For me it is a safe zone.

There is something about the words, the sound, the feeling that is communicated. Angels & Airwaves has a distinct ability to lift me up when I'm feeling down, give me strength when I'm feeling weak and instill courage when I'm at my most vulnerable.

So why Pt. II?

When I sat down to empty my mind of all the dangerous thoughts that every so often consume me, I turned to the song I find most fitting when I end up in this headspace. Fittingly enough, it is called "The War."

Sadly, I have written about this song before. And the night I wrote about it was at the heart of the battle ensuing within me tonight.

March 4, 2012 - The War.

I wasn't as brazen about sharing my emotions then. But I know just why I posted this track nearly one year ago.

It's a beautiful song. It always will be.

It's also a painful song. It always will be.

Why won't you tell me that it's almost over?

Why must this tear my head inside out...