Where are those "Stride" guys...?

With the temperatures steadily dropping here in Kamloops, I was forced to breakout my peacoat and bundle up a little bit the past couple days.

When going through the pockets of my coat today, I made a shocking discovery. Contained within the inner breast pocket of my coat was a pack of gum. Shocking, right? Not really. At least not until I examined just what kind of gum it was...


Hiding in my coat pocket was a pack of Stride peppermint gum. You're probably still questioning why this is such an issue for me. This wasn't a new pack of Stride, it was an old pack. Original Stride.

For those of you who don't pay close attention to media or who don't watch television, let me educate you on why this was an alarming discovery for me:

Immediately this commercial came to mind. First off, why would anyone buy this gum if they promise consumers such serious punishment for overusing the product? Seriously, a ram? C'mon. That isn't only unrealistic, but it's insanely cruel. Think for a second just how difficult it would be not only to train a ram, but to train it to hunt down people who have chewed their gum for too long. If science can train rams to hunt people, then I don't want to know what else it can do.

But then I thought to myself, "as long as I spit this out, I'll be ok." After all, who wants to get... rammed?

My relief didn't last long as I soon remembered a less painful, but much more adrenaline filled commercial:

What an awesome chase scene! Now I want to hang on to my original pack of Stride gum! How awesome would it be to get chased by some Matrix-like, Mr. Smith-looking secret agent on a skateboard? I hope Stride has agents in Kamloops, because I am holding on to my last piece of Stride to see if they come for me. I just hope they don't send that ram... or worse, a secret agent ram on a skateboard... If Stride's science has evolved or developed at all since this last commercial, I'm sure they now have an army of skateboarding secret agent rams.

Of course if no one comes for my last piece of Stride, I will be calling these guys out. I don't like being lied to.